So I have started collecting tattoos. I have 4 now. I started in October and I dont plan on quitting soon. I dont want to be covered in them but I do want them in a select few places. Here they are so far in order of creation!!!
Alis Volat Propriis, Latin for "She flies with her own wings" by Josh Avery
A seahorse, it reminds me of home, By Josh Avery
again an ocean themed tat on my ribs on the right side, it reminds me of home by David
this is about a third of the way done, it will go all the way up my back and will be colored pink when its done. by Josh Avery
These tats are all thanks to the awesome job of Josh and David at Loyalty Tattoo 293 S. State St. Clearfield Utah 1(801)773-1643!
If you said that you owned 2 cats would people look at you like you were crazy? No. 2 cats are normal...What if you had 3? You would most likely be a cat person, its okay, its a way of life. Nothing to be ashamed of. How about 4 cats? At this point you have reached the title of desperate and pretty much single forever. Once we reach 5 cats and above you can kiss your so called social life good-bye. From now on your life revolves around Sir Mittens Chuggingworth and Snowball. Your home will always give off the faint cat odor that everyone hates but no one mentions and your furniture/curtains will never look the same again. You have gained the great and terrible honor of being called a cat lady. Embrace your status in life, brush the cat hair off of your clothing and hold your head high! Not everyone can handle it with such good grace. Im proud of you for being so strong. Don't worry when you get lonely your home will always be full of animals that may never love you but they will always come back. Don't blame them for not loving you, they are cats their default expression is one of disgust and loathing. A kiss from them is the sting of their claws kneading into your skin until they draw blood. But again, don't completely lose hope. You will never be alone again, everywhere you turn there will be a cat waiting...On the couch-cat, on the table- cat, on the windowsill- 2 cats. On the wall you will have a series of step like shelves for the cats to climb up and stare down at you like gargoyles. You will someday have an entire photo album created for all of your pet cats and you will hold people hostage on your cat hair covered vintage smelly couch until they have seen every picture. Your backyard will resemble a graveyard, covered in the crosses of all of your beloved past kitties. You will be that crazy aunt that everyone in the family avoids at all costs because they don't want to be trapped, hearing the latest exploits of Mr. Paws and his equally mischievous sidekick Felix.
I just wanted to take this time to say good luck and I hope things work out for you. I'm going to be outside playing catch with my outgoing and flirtatious dog. We are going to pick up a couple of attractive guys and go on a play date at the park. But hey, you have fun with your ball of string..try getting a laser pointer, those are fun too!
I was reading a blog called I got jokes, she had some great ideas on how to get your guy to understand what a period feels like, so I decided to share them too!
Ten Ways to help your man understand what it's like to have a period
1. Have him lay down (preferably on a hard surface) and beat him repeatedly in the abdomen with a baseball bat. Get him to turn over and repeat on lower back. 2. Piss him off so badly that although he wants to stop screaming at you, he just can't. 3. Fill a condom with corn syrup and make him wear it for five days straight. 4. Rub his inner thighs with 60 grit sandpaper to simulate chafing. Repeat between butt cheeks. 5. Punch him in the chest 150 times, 75 hits on each side. 6. Do not allow him any kind of sexual gratification for 3-5 days. This includes self-stimulation. 7. Smear olive oil all over his face, paying special attention to chin, nose and forehead. Throw some in his hair too. 8. Smash his new, 50" plasma screen TV, forcing uncontrollable sobbing. This might also work for #2. 9. Buy him the ugliest, most unflattering underwear you can possibly find. Make sure you get at least five pairs. 10. Put him in a diaper. The bulkier, the better. Then make him carry one to the bathroom so everyone at his workplace knows he's wearing it.
Try these suggestions and I guarantee that your man will be ready with a hot water bottle, some Tylenol and a back massage every month when TOM shows up.
What hurts the most is knowing that something happened to you and being to afraid to do anything about it. To have to live with it and to know that even if you tried to make it right that it still wouldn't be. We all make choices in life that have consequences. Time to buck up and live with them. Like my mother always said, "Pull up your big girl panties and deal with it." So here goes nothing. I am not an all night motel, not open to service to whoever can pay the most money. The only ones allowed to enter my bed without invitation are my little girls and the only reason they crawl in my bed is because of a nightmare. Im growing up and Im going to deal with this. Maybe not in the way that I should which would be to make a report, but emotionally, yes im growing up. Im going to put it behind me and forget. Im going to go on with my life and Im going to start making choices that are not as unhealthy. Time to tip the scales, I cant live life like I did or something even worse is going to happen. I couldn't live with that. So here is me forgetting. Putting it down in words without putting it down in words. Here is the last time Im going to talk about it. Here is me moving on.
So I was sitting here planning on giving it a couple of days before I write my next entry because I have been posting a ton lately when I got hit with this overwhelming feeling that I miss my daddy. So this post is all about my Dad and how much I love him.
What will always remind me of him:
1. Brooks and Dunn and Alan Jackson, mostly Brooks reminds me of him but really the songs they all sing and the classic country style always make me miss him.
2. The smell of feed and hay. I spent countless hours in the barns with him while growing up. He is that smell and I treasure it.
3. He refuses to say "I love you." So my dad is gettin up there in age, Not OLD per say but definitely getting closer to decrepit.This means that he grew up during the time when a grunt was a delicate I love you and cleaning the pig stalls basically had you set apart as soul mates.My dad is about 74 which means he wants me to finish school, get married and have grandbabbies (not necessarily in that order.) To get him back for this I often call him for no particular reason trying to get him to tell me he loves me. His usual reply is "uh yup ok well bye thanks for calling." I wont ever let him hang up without telling me at least "you too." Its one of the best things to do when bored.
4. I want to make my daddy proud. He doesn't know this, but everything I do is basically done to make him proud. I want to be that mommy that brings him grandkids, I want to get my masters degree so that I can be someone that he brags about to all of his farmer buddies. But most of all I want to be what he wants me to be, a good daughter. I love him with all my heart and I miss him like crazy. It was one of the hardest things ever to move this far away from him.
Do you ever find yourself trying to go to sleep and you toss and turn, fidget, wiggle and sigh? I do. Quite frequently. You get to the point where you try to think about nothing at all in an effort to lull yourself off to sleep. It never works. I fail at it every time and today for the 2nd time I find myself unable to sleep. The first was at 4am this morning, I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep ready for the day to begin...Please! Not even the early bird is trying to catch the worm that early. I tried to get myself back to sleep by daydreaming about my future, after a half an hour of mindless wander I realized sleep wasn't coming. I hopped out of bed grabbed my trusty laptop and joined the rest of the sleepless world on the internet. Again tonight I find myself unable to sleep...whats a girl to do?! I don't have a man in my bed to keep me occupied, I finished my latest book this afternoon...this leaves the internet! I decided that if I can find things to do on the internet to keep me busy and at least a little amused then I had better share them with you!
Of course I spend at least a minute checking my facebook, gotta see if my "friends" had anything to say!
After I finish reading the newest posts or I spend some time reading random ones I then switch to checking my blog which leads me here. Depending on my mood I will check my stats, read some posts or even write something new that I can post on here.
If I am still bored I have several directions that I can go, if I have new pictures that havent been edited I go straight to Picnik.com where I can spend hours on end playing with photos. If Im not in a photogenic mood I move to Netflix.com or cwtv.com both of which allow me to watch as much tv as I could possibly want, which isnt too much. Im not much of a television watcher. But I do really enjoy movies.
Here is a list of random sites that keep me busy in times of extreme boredom!
To treat people in the manner in which you expect to be treated. To show consideration for another person's feelings and interests. An attitude demonstrating that you value another person. You should treat your friends with respect.
When I started this blog I didnt plan on devoting many of my posts to rants about things in my life that piss me off. However, today I am posting about something that I not only want but need in life. Yup you guessed it, respect. Too many times people brush off considerations for others and think of only themselves. There are so many kinds of respect and I dont plan on covering all of them. What I do want to discuss is self-respect and respect in relationships.
Too many times I sit down at work or walk down the street and I hear people complaining about how ugly they are or how no one likes them. GROW UP. If you think your ugly then yeah you are. If you are confident and think that you are beautiful then that will show and you will be. Respect yourself enough to be confident in who you are and what you look like! Im not going to sit here and give you a motivational talk about how you need to look into your heart and realize how amazing you are. Im in a bad mood and I would rather tell you to get over it than coddle you. If you havent realized your amazing yet then nothing I say is going to help you. If you spend your days lamenting over the fact that you cant make friends and that no one likes you well then odds are its your own fault. Get up off of your butt and go make some friends. Dont spend all day complaining, ask someone how their day is going. Take the time to think of someone other than your self. There is a fine line between respecting yourself and being full of yourself. A decent amount of self absorption is healthy but dont let that cup overflow. If you can respect yourself and be confident then that is going to spread to others and in turn they are going to respect you too.
Which brings us to the next area of respect that is driving me insane. Respect in relationships. Take a second to talk to someone that you love and ask them whats going on in their life. When they start to talk actually LISTEN. Dont just nod along all the while thinking about what story from this week you want to share with them about your life. People are important, we all need friends, lovers and even people we hate. Thats what really makes our lives worth while. If you make plans with someone, stick to them. Nothing makes me angrier than when someone tells me they are going to do something and then they blow you off. Have enough respect to at least let them know whats going on. Most people are going to understand that your lame excuse is really just that, a lame excuse but they are going to also realize that you need some time by yourself. Everyone ditches others, its just the way that we do it that makes all the difference. Respect someone enough to tell them the truth, Im going to be more understanding if you just tell me straight to my face. It saves time, energy and chocolate. Chocolate only because its what we eat when someone makes us angry. Girls, respect your girlfriends, dont ditch them for your new boytoy. Dedicate at least one day every week to at least one of your gals, paint each others toenails and sip wine. Spend an afternoon taking pictures of each other in your best model poses. Take some time to talk about anything other than boys! This is going to only strengthen your relationship and make you respect each other more.
Girl friends and Boy friends, spend an entire day together doing as many random things that you can think of, or just have a regular boring day. Work on your homework together, go to the library. Just spending that time in companionable silence is such a respect builder. You dont have to plan a fancy date just to hang out. Most couples are happy being in the same room, no need to go over the top. Respect each other enough to just be yourself, dont gussy up and act macho. You are together because you are attracted to the REAL person behind the dating mask. Go for a walk, throw a snowball, share a milkshake, talk on the phone until your falling asleep, take random funny face pictures do something that lets the other know that you respect them enough to be yourself.
Kids, respect your family. Call your mom or dad tomorrow and tell them that you love them. Call them to not ask for anything, call just to see how they are. This is going to make your entire relationship stronger and open the door to more of these happy chats. It doesnt have to be a long call, a 5 minute phone call can warm up your parents heart just as easily as an hour long call. If you dont want to call a parent then call a brother or a sister, maybe an aunt or uncle. You have people that love you, now show them the respect they deserve by giving them a little of your time.
I havent posted in a while and I feel bad, But, I have an excuse! My computer charger decided to stop working and I havent been able to charge my laptop in ages! So here is an update from my life since last post. I have been working nonstop at a call center, thats been lots of fun, I wish I could share stories but thats against policy...Lets just say its a riot and that drunk dialers are my favorite! One momentous occasion occurred this week for me. I had a piece of my body removed...well that just sounds gross. I went to the Emergency Room a couple of times with some horrible pain and found out what was going on.
4 AM in the Emergency Room
I had my Gal Bladder removed because it decided to quit working and was thinking about rupturing. This didnt sound very pleasant, so my surgeon and I worked together to get the damn thing out. By working together I mean I slept and he worked. It turned out to be a relatively quick procedure and I was out and on my way within hours. Apparently in my anesthesia induced brain though I told every single worker in the hospital that my surgeon looked like John Stamos, which he did. After telling all of them that I fell asleep for 30 seconds woke back up and told them all again. The 5th time around my nurse patted my head and told me to go back to sleep. The only reason I know this happened is because the nurse told me later....Im so cool.
He looked just like this! Hottest surgeon ever!!!
Right before surgery, had to wear my glasses because they dont let you wear contacts.
They dont let you wear your piercings during surgery either which resulted in my nose ring closing. So I am one piercing less, lucky for me it takes a couple of days before my belly button and lip even think about closing on me! The surgery resulted in me gaining 4 brand new scars on my belly. yay...but they are really small and surgery these days leaves you with far less pain and scar tissue so Im actually really thankful!
I had the one with the 4 little cuts.
I am almost done with my recovery and have started limiting my pain pill intake and started to move around and eat real food again. For the first couple days I was like a child! Couldnt eat anything and had to get help walking around and getting up! My family is so amazing for holding my hand through all of this! My triplet Derrick even came by the house from Oregon the night before the surgery and helped me around the house the first day after the surgery. He was awesome!
an hour after the surgery, I was still super high from pills.
I have to go back to work tomorrow which kind of sucks but Im glad to get my life back to normal sort of! I still have about a week before Im fully recovered but I dont anticipate it really being an issue. Love you all! Thanks for the support!!!
In honor of the horrible week that every woman goes through each month I am dedicating this post to all of the women going through the hormonal disaster called their period. There are all kinds of names and phrases for it but whatever you wanna name it, just know we all understand.
Here is a brief list of names.
TOM (time of the month) The curse, Shark Week, Aunt Flo came to town and she is ragging on my ass, The rag, Riding the cotton pony, Crimson tide, Flag of Japan, The red sea, Busted Lip, Mother Nature, Mr. Rose, Crime Scene in my pants, Dexter (named after the show about a serial killer obsessed with blood) Cherry pie festival, Communists in the fun house, Reboot as in reboot of the reproductive system, Ovum independence day, Miss Scarlett, The red badge of Courage, Menstro Monster, Punched with the red fist club, closed for Maintenance, Out of Commission, The British are coming, Saving Private Ryan because its a scene of carnage and suffering and The great leaky week.
Period humor
One day a man wanted his wife to run to the store to pick up some cigarettes. Gritting her teeth his wife drove to the store. Their finances had been lacking lately and she wanted to save a little money, so when she got there she asked the clerk to help her find the cheapest cigarettes possible. When she returned home she had loose tobacco and rolling papers. Her husband asked her why she hadn't picked up prerolled cigs. She told him that it would be far cheaper if he just made his own. The next week his wife asked her husband to run to the store to pick up some tampons. Grinning her husband jumped in the car and drove to the store. When he returned home he handed his wife a bag of cotton balls and some string. "Well honey," he said. "its gonna be a lot cheaper if you just make your own."
When I was in 5th grade and my sister in fourth, my Mother thought it would be a good idea to kill two birds with one stone and speak to both of us about the the curse that we should come to expect.
She didn't want to scare us as her mother did her and her sisters, so, she tried to spin it by adding that our breasts would blossom at the same time. My little sister was silent and listened while I asked all the questions I could think of.
After my Mother answered every question I had, my sister examined my mother and me for a moment and said... "I'd rather have a penis."
How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.
ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.
And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.
But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...
The 10 Definitive Signs of PMS are:
Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
You're counting down the days until menopause.
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
Quick question? How many of you have a little brother that you caught dissecting a pad or a tampon when they were younger? I know a guy that used the tampon tubes as telescopes!
Here is a link to a funny article that a woman wrote about her period. I laughed my ass off when I read it. ENJOY!!!
But all fun and jokes aside, your period is an important thing and I'm sure we all thank goodness it arrives on time every month! Whether you are sexually active or not that period is a happy thing! Well unless you want children, in that case your SOL. Cramps suck, so if your a guy give your sweetie a cuddle session and buy her some chocolate, or midol. Really they are like the same thing. Periods suck but with the proper treatment your period may not be as bad. Good luck with your very own Shark week ladies!!!
I suppose its time for a random post about my life rather than all of these blog posts as a part of the photo challenge and such shenanigans. So to get you caught up and just in case you don't want to read all of this I am a taboo champion, I got a new job and I have a puppy. Two of those are important things and one is just a fantasy. A lame and pathetic fantasy but come on, if your reading this then you obviously know me well enough to know that, that is my description. Lame, pathetic and really, really cool. Did I mention pretty? I'm kinda-ish sure I'm pretty too. Hmm people tell me to be confident so lets go with gorgeous not just pretty. I am gorgeous, see a definitive statement. I can be confident. But I digress.
My new job that I started is a riot. So entertaining, full of fun and exciting things. Okay, that was a lie. I get to sit in a classroom for the next 7 weeks learning about how to take a phone call. Instead of paying attention I just sketch in my notebook. I have close to 10 pages of amazing doodles and sketches that look like an 8 year old drew them. I am skilled, its true. Good news though, I received a nickname at work "Professor." Don't ask me where that came from because I don't know...At least the people I work with are fun! I learned today that mixing Jager and pickle juice is supposed to be some delicious drink. Sounds disgusting to me but I guess I will have to try it before I judge.
My other big news was that I got a new puppy. She is a mini Dachshund, red in color and about 13 weeks old right now. She has razor sharp teeth, kind of like needles and she has a fondness for biting my nose. Its sweet really in a painful and rude sort of way. She has latched onto my nose ring several times hitting a nerve and sending me into a little bit of a faint a couple of times in the early morning hours. Its endearing in a sarcastic way. But really I love her! She is so cute and probably one of the best cuddlers I have ever met. Her other incredibly annoying biting habit is when she latches on to my shoelaces or pant legs and goes to town. She has untied and mangled many a pair of my pants and shoes. Her name is Daisy May. I named her Daisy, Megan added the May. It has caught on and now her full name is Daisy May. She joins the ranks of our other two Dachshunds, Doxi and Dora( full name Adorabelle,) cliche and probably nauseating as those names are we always stick with D names. Anyway, Daisy is still young and learning not to eat everything so we got her a couple of toys, her favorites so far: a purple gorilla and an orange headless cat. When she isn't eating shoes, books, barbies, my feet, my pants, my socks, my nintendo controllers, cords, walls, doors, pencils, belts, carpet, or pillows then she is chewing on her toys.
I take her everywhere with me but work! she rides on my shoulders in the car!
I suppose thats all you need to know to be caught up on me, well except for the taboo skills and champion title I have acquired, but thats a story for another time...
Today I am posting on the word "hands." About a year ago I was sitting in the car holding hands with my two cousins, this was before the new baby was born. I whipped out my cell phone and took a picture of our hands together and it has been a picture that I have always cherished!
