.family.

    As I write this I am sitting in a basement freezing from the cold with a miniature heater warming my toesies. Its pretty late and I should be upstairs sleeping but I cannot get this sense of overwhelming happiness to shove off long enough to go to sleep. I am just so completely content with my life and the people in it that I can't believe it. Of course being a 20 year old my life is rife with angst and all kinds of drama but really without that I don't think my life would be as wonderful as it is right now.
    I just spent 10 fantastic days in Oregon seeing my family up there, not only the ones I am related to but the ones I grew up with also. Just the dynamics and the way I am treated is so very special to my life there. For instance I know my dad loves me because of his parting words when i said goodbye, "Well theres alot of snow, you will probably crash and die."......all I have to reply with is "thanks dad I love you too."....Those kinds of words from anybody else would be sarcastic and probably rude, I don't think I would take them that well at all, but knowing my dad thats all he needs to say and I get the gist. He worries about me and even though he has this rough and tough exterior he can show he cares.
    I got to spend time with my friends, Megan, Melissa and Jackie, which was lovely. They all bring something different to the table that I love so much. It's like they are each a different facet and when merged they put my life together. I don't know what I would do without them. They understand different parts of me without my having to explain. I have created some of the best memories of my life with them.
    I'm not going to lie though, I was super stoked to fly home. My utah family is amazing. I love my aunt to death. We have such a deep understanding of eachother that I dont think I could reach in the same way with anyone else. When we talk we dont even finish stories, we will drop them a couple lines in and start in on a new one flawlessly, talking over eachother constantly. Then an hour or so later we will pick up and finish each story, no questions asked. She knows what I'm thinking basically all of the time, she is the rock, the person I go to when I am lost and she is always there for me. She is very much a mother to me.
   Some of the tenderest moments have happened to me during my life in Utah. I treasure the times when I stay here. When Marynell has a nightmare and I wake up and rock her to sleep so her parents can at least have a full nights sleep once in a while. When I walk into the house and I'm bombarded with the girls, big hugs, pulling me up to their rooms so they can show me all of their dolls and toys, Rhiannan giving a full narrative the whole time, even though I have seen them all a thousand times. Shoving their dolls at me so that I can hold them while they get their diapers changed by eager little hands pretending to be mommies, or forcing me to sit in their rooms to watch them play, not allowed to leave but not allowed to play along either. The special moments that i hold so close to my heart. My favorite by far is the early early hours of the morning when Marynell comes down and nestles with me on the couch, cuddling up for a half hour or so. I can't believe they are growing up and I wont have these little girls anymore.
   I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait to get back to school either. I have another family that lives down there, all of the friends that I have made since I moved have become my home away from home. When I leave I don't miss my apartment or the school, I miss them. The nights that we spend watching t.v. shows or just hanging out are some of the best nights of my life. I look forward to hanging out so much. I am not sure what i would have done with my life without them. They have brought me so much that I didn't even know I was missing. But now I wouldn't give it up for the world.
    My grandparents are such a wonderful part of my life too. I have found so much acceptence from them. They have become my confidants and my friends. I know that I can share any unfolding drama with my grandmother or discuss any of my many crushes and she will help me to the best of her ability. She is always preparing me for my life. One of my favorite memores with her was when she taught me how to make my Man-catchin Pickled beets! Because she told me that I will never be able to catch a man without knowing that recipe. Well boys, I learned it, come, flock to me! My grandpa is my strength, he is always striving and pushing, he never gives up. He may be sick and tired but he just keeps going past the point of stubburness. He is so incredibly smart too! If I am ever worried about something I know I can go to him and he will straighten me out.

I have so many more people that I am so proud to know and I love them dearly with my whole heart and i know that I cant get to everyone in a single blog post. But I want everyone to know how much I treasure them and their friendship. I have a wonderfully large family and I want it to keep on growing.

I am so thankful to have been blessed with this life and the people in it.

christmas photos

Mom and Dad decided that we ought to have some photos of us kids hangin around so we got together in front of the christmas tree and took a few. 

.triplets. Derrick, Colt and Jamie

Derrick, Yutani, Jamie, Courtney and Colt

the stockings were hung at the chimney with care

.home. 

Christmas Vacation. I feel like it barely started and now its half over. I have had a wonderful vacation so far doing all kinds of wonderful things and I love it!

I left on Friday the 17th with Shari and met up with Hadley and Ariele for lunch at Zupas, once there we had to say all of our goodbyes...Thank goodness we could share the amazing panini's and soup first cause WOW so good! I think those may have made separation a little easier. Kidding it was still super tough to say goodbye.

I spent the first few days of vacation with my utah family, Megan, Marynell, Rhiannan and Nedrick. What a blast! we had tons of fun going back and forth all over the place trying to get all of our shopping done! But we did take the time to go and get pictures with Santa, I don't have a copy otherwise I would post it up here for everyone to see. Its super cute! We each sat on dear old Santas lap and asked him for each of our treasured secret gifts. The thing that would make all of our dreams come true! I didn't catch what Rhiannan asked for but I imagine it had something to do with toys. Marynell asked for a baby bouncer for one of her dolls, probably her Haitian baby...(its a little baby doll she adopted and named Haitian right after the earthquake.)That left only me so I asked for Santa to please please please bring me the perfect man! Santa told me that just as soon as he found him, he would send him off to my doorstep with a bow on his head. Well it's Christmas and I don't see any perfect men milling about in my driveway...I wonder if Santa sent him to my Utah address...In any case I think Santa must have forgotten or just couldn't find him for me. Oh well better luck next year! 

curious? story to come. please read on.

Finally it was the day that I would be flying off to Oregon to see my parents and all of my friends that I had missed since this summer, I was excited and totally brim full of trepidation. It's always scary to go home after being away for so long. I had my suitcase all packed the night before and I had gone to bed a bundle of nerves. When I woke up I rolled out of bed ready for the day and promptly rolled right back in after doubling over with a stabbing stomach ache. I felt AWFUL! I could barely stand and all of my limbs felt like they were going to stiffen up and quit moving, and don't even let me get started on the nausea...What an awful way to start my journey to Oregon. So I composed myself and forced myself out of bed, I couldn't cancel my flight so I had to just go. When I got to the airport I spent most of the time hugging my tummy and trying to figure out how I was going to survive the flight. I never did figure that out...When I finally found my seat after getting on the plane basically all of my worst nightmares were revealed. That super attractive guy that you just stare at and drool over that you never speak too but dream about every day for the rest of your life just happened to be sitting next to me along with two of his buddies that rivaled his attractiveness. And super sexy me was gripping a barf bag like my very life depended on it. I spent the entire flight either gripping that bag breathing deeply and looking like I was going to die or I was sprinting for the bathroom. It really was the worst flight I have ever been on. The poor flight attendants thought I was dying of food poisoning. When we finally landed in Portland that super sexy man of my dreams turned to me with a smile and I prepared myself for some super intelligent quip from a sultry sexy deep voice. I looked up at him with doe eyes (only made so because of the sickness I was under) pale and willing to fall into his arms if only he would ask. I was at the mercy of this man willing him to hold me and comfort me through my sickness. He spoke:

" So uh could you hurry and get up so I can get off the plane, my girlfriend is waiting..."

All I could think to reply was: 

"wha...? ummm yeah? ok..ok sorry uh yeah"

So not only was he a super disappointing jerk but I was too out of it to come back with a scathing remark that would put him in his place. Ugh Failure.

I met my parents at the end of the terminal, found my bags and promptly fell into a mini coma in the backseat of the car. I woke only to prop myself up in a taco bell while my parents ate then fell back into it until I got home. Once there my coma continued through the next morning. 

I spent the next couple of days with my family and my friends. 

I got to spend a wonderful night at my friend Melissa's house where we had a sleepover and watched movies into the night. I spent the next few days with Megan and we went all over the place, from Hebo to P.C to Lincoln City to Newport. We spent alot of time on the Bayfront checking out the shops and waiting for her boyfriend richard to get off of work (he works on a crabbing boat.) 

It took us forever to get all of our Christmas shopping done but finally everything was wrapped and ready for the upcoming day. Megan and I even made cookies and took a ton of fun pictures in preparation.

Christmas came today with little fan fare. It was a quiet morning, dad watching some show on T.V. Mom preparing the turkey. It was pretty low key. We sat and read books and waited for the rest of the family to show up. Derrick and Yutani got off of work at about the same time as Colt and Courtney arrived. Then Chaos set in. What a happy raucous we can make when we are all together. Colt brought his new black lab puppy Max and he had a hearty time rough housing with my parents chocolate lab Buddy. We all gathered around the tree and opened our presents. My parents made it out with the most I think, which is a pleasant switch from what it was always like as children. I got the most beautiful Opal ring from my parents. I LOVE IT! 

I positively love spending time with my family, we have no personal bubbles at all, we were pulling things off of each others plates, sharing our drinks with each other, laughing while tossing tidbits to the dogs. I wish it didn't take holidays like this to get us together. The only person that we were missing was Casey. I wish he could have been there with us, it would have made the holiday so much better. But he is off in the middle east supporting our country. Which I think is an amazing thing to be doing and I look up to him and respect him so much for that kind of selflessness. and I miss him terribly too. 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

demotivational posters

Made a couple demotivational posters out of pure boredom. enjoy. 

roomie christmas

My lovely roommates and I celebrated Christmas tonight and it was simply magical! We opened the night at 9 pm by kicking everyone out of the apartment but those that lived there. I am pretty sure this was the first time we were all together in the apartment since the day we all moved in.

   To get into the Christmas spirit we went around to each person and had them pick their favorite Christmas song and then we sang it. SO much fun! We all got into Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer and sang all of the tag along lines with hand movements until we were rolling on the floor laughing.
   After singing all of our songs we opened all of the gifts that we had each gotten eachother. They were so cute! Chelsie made us all flower headbands. I LOVE mine :)

Karina fashioned our names and framed them for our rooms, they are so amazing :)
Sydney got us all journals that reflect our personalities perfectly :)
Jennifer found necklaces and these super fun light up balls with smiley faces, I named mine skeeze-ball :)
Emily presented us with Christmas lotions and these super cute glittery ornaments, mine is silver and so fun! :)
I made them cards that say "May the spirit of Christmas warm your heart. As for the rest of you... I can take care of that!" and then I got them knee high socks and matching gloves :)

We had such a blast with it all! I positively love my roommates and I love Christmas!!!

Jennifer, Emily, Sydney, Me, Karina and Chelsie

We act like this in real life :) I love us

birthday wishes

We held the 20th birthday celebrations for my dear friends, Shari, Tia and Suzy. What a blast! We got the group together for fun and laughter. Im so proud of these girls and I positively love the people we hang out with! I couldn't live without them. So Happy Birthday Girls! Love ya!

Kent and Camille

Jeremy and Robert

Kent and Shari

Sariah and Ten, so stinkin Cute!!!

Keith, Kristalyn, Camille and Sidney

Tia, Shari, Haven and Hadley

Most of the Group, Kristalyn, me, Sariah, Ten, Keith Camille, Sidney,
Hadley, Suzy, Robert, Mitch, Jeremy, Kent, Shari, Tia, Emily and Haven

The Cake, I tried for Sunflower themed

Kent, Me and Suzy, Kent is such a Creeper!!!

christmas spirit

I made some plans this week to take a group over to the Care Center in Ephraim this week and what a wonderful time we had! Because it is so close to finals week most people were unable to go but that is O.K because there are plenty of opportunities in the future. 

For this trip the plan was to read several christmas stories while going from room to room visiting before dinner. As most people know plans never really happen the way you want them too and thank goodness for that! Out of the 20 person group that I invited to go, only 2 of us were able to go. Robert and I. So we took off around 4 with our stories in hand. We got there pretty quickly and set ourselves up ready to go room to room. But one of the nurses had a fantastic idea to set us up in a room with couches and a microphone. So we ended up doing that. With a lovely audience we began our introductions and read two inspiring stories "The Three Trees" and "The Christmas Blessing." 

You may not know it but old ladies like a good song much better than a story. After we finished reading the stories they asked us to sing a couple christmas songs. We didnt have any accompaniment but who is going to say no to those sweet old ladies? Robert cried out on the first song and I was left all by my lonesome...So like any other choir girl I turned bright red, inched up to the microphone and warbled out Silent Night. Now I'm no songstress, I am not saying I could win any awards for that performance...oh far from it. I am saying that I had sooooo much fun doing it! It was super scary but the looks on those faces made my whole day! They were the most amazing audience. I would go back any day and sing for them, it doesn't matter that singing in front of a crowd scares the dickens out of me. The pride that shines on their faces as if I was one of their grandkids was enough to make me feel warmth straight to my spirit. The journey didn't end there though, the ladies were not done with only one song, they wanted to hear "that young man over there" sing a song. So Robert was unable to hide anymore and was forced to the front. We sang a duet of Hark the Herald Angels Sing. I think that it was beautiful...from what I could hear around the pounding nervousness I was facing at least. 

It was a beautiful experience. 

After singing for a while we went around and talked to some of the people living there. I met countless ladies that told me about how proud they are of their grandchildren and families. About how amazing their lives were. I met one woman that was so incredibly spiritual, she told me endless stories of her dear husband that was stake president for years and years and about how she was able to house the Quorum of the 12. What an inspiring life she led! 

I heard stories that made me so excited to live my own life. I heard stories that made me laugh and some that made me puzzled but the common factor was that I heard stories that warmed my heart. These people have such wonderful life experiences they are a treasure and a group that should be heard and learned from everyday. I cannot wait to go visit them again.

One woman holds a special place in my heart, she was so sweet. I could tell the entire time that I was there that she wanted to talk to me. Her name was Aleen and she told me stories about her childhood and her husband that died young of pneumonia. She told me a story of how everyone called her Dina for most of her life. I only spoke with her for a short time but I felt a connection and I know that she was looking for someone to talk to. I am so happy that I could spend my time with her, listening to her stories. 

If you ever get the chance to visit with any older people whether they are your grandparents or not, treasure that time because they are full of life and you can learn so much from them. Take the time to stop and listen. The things that they can teach you are jewels and pearls that will enrich your life every day.  

tie it with a ribbon, it won't come undone

"Those who walk in faith will feel their lives encompassed with the light and blessings of heaven. They will understand and know things that others cannot."

Joseph B. Wirthlin - Ensign, Nov. 2002, 84

I think it is all coming together. My life I mean. Before I felt like so many pieces were falling out and that it was just tumbling down. Now I just feel at peace. My heart is warm and calm. This morning I woke up thinking to myself that this was just a normal day. Buckets of tears later (seriously I think there was enough to end all of the worlds droughts) my day went from normal to extraordinary. Being melancholy has become something I am rather used to lately but I think that was because I was so unsure. I'm not unsure anymore, I know what I'm doing. I can feel it in my heart that I am on the right track. My beliefs and my spirit are in harmony. I am striving to do all I can for myself, my family, my friends and for everyone. I have never put this much effort into life before. When I lived in Oregon I just skidded along, piggy backing on the achievements of others. But now I'm creating a life for myself. I have taken the first steps toward getting all of my dreams and I think it's finally happening for me. I love it! I just can't thank everyone enough that have helped me to get where I am today. And I know they will be here for me during the next steps too. I'm positively thrilled to really start living my life.

~Jamie~

"The companionship of Christlike friends deeply touches and changes our lives. We should well remember that the Lord often sends 'blessings from above, thru words and deeds of those who love'...Love is the very essence of the gospel of Christ. In this church, prayers for help are often answered by the Lord through the simple, daily service of caring brothers and sisters. In the goodness of genuine friends, I have seen the reflected mercy of the Lord Himself. I have always been humbled by the knowledge that the Savior regards us as His friends when we choose to follow Him and Keep His commandments."

Joseph B. Wirthlin - General Conference. Oct. 1997

mrs. degree

a feminine project, more work by tia taylor

I really should have waited until all of her photographs were taken but I didn't so here is the continued work by the amazing and fabulous Tia Taylor.

Emily

Emily

Emily

Anna

Anna and Heather

Heather

feminine wiles via tia taylor

Women are beautiful. In every shape and every size. Whether she is wearing makeup or purely natural she is gorgeous. But not only on the outside. Every woman has a personality that is just as beautiful as her looks. I am friends with some women that are beautiful in their own shades and i love every single one of them with all of my heart. When I look out at the women in my school I see so many that are unsure of themselves, not able to see that beauty, that they hold inside. There are so many different facets of our society that lead women to believe that they are unworthy when in all truth they are and always will be perfect. Worthy of anything they set their minds to.

My friend Tia Taylor, 

an aspiring photographer is working right now on a project for her photography class that centers around women. She has created some very beautiful pictures that highlight the beauty and femininity that woman have. Her idea in photographing women has been a huge inspiration to me and I think that she is truly gifted. 

Hadley 

Shari Ellen, Hadley and Camille

Me

me

Shari Ellen

Shari Ellen, Hadley and Camille

Camille

Tia Taylor has a talent that is so very special. She is a wonderful artist with an eye for beauty. She has the ability to capture the most treasured of moments with her camera. I think that she will have a very promising career in photography. 

twinkling gobbler

The second segment in my amazing thanksgiving break!

So if you dont already know this, I have a right hip. Ok, I have two right hips. But the important one is Shari.

Gangstas!!! ok she would probably kill me if this were the only picture I put up since it makes us look like bums. 

Here we are normal and cute!

Shari Ellen is one of my best friends, and so we of course had to get together over the holiday, it makes it so much easier because our families live a couple streets from each other in town. Being college students we had to find some plausible reason to get together and not waste time soooo...we worked on homework...yippee! But really we had a fantastic time, we went to IHOP and got some pretty bad service then we worked on our speeches with smidgeons of talk here and there about boys...Ok so we talked about boys most of the time. We still got our homework done in time to spend the rest of the holiday with our families.

So I said before stay tuned for a segment on Black Friday. HAHA it was sooooo much fun! I just kinda stood back and watched people go crazy. It was insane. The first place we went was Walmart since it opened at midnight and that was the easiest place to go. We got there slightly before midnight to walk around and look. We really couldnt though because there were tons of people crowded into every nook and cranny. There were workers running around in florescent vests with the words "EVENT STAFF" on them carrying radios yelling "It is not yet midnight! I repeat! It is not yet Midnight!!!" I was laughing so hard watching them scramble. Then all Hades broke loose! You could tell it was midnight when a shrill scream ripped through the air and the volume reached deafening as you heard ripping, tearing and swearing all up and down the aisles. Men were grabbing boxes and sprinting down the aisles with as much as their arms could hold. One woman had just grabbed a box with a cricut in it and stopped to text near myself and my aunt Megan. This presented us with a hilarious opportunity. In a loud voice my aunt told me "I bet you a dollar fifty to grab that cricut and run!" So I jump forward the woman looks up terrified looking for where the voice came from and just as I get there the woman looks at me lunges for the cricut, glares and runs in the other direction. It was great!!!
All in all we stayed out until 4 in the morning running around and teasing the shoppers.

Last night we took the girls Marynell (3) and Rhiannan (7) to the lights at Temple Square because they were turning them on that night. We went to the front runner station and rode the train out. The girls LOVE riding the train, its the best way to keep them behaving like human beings. Just threaten them with driving and not riding the train and they start to act like angels. In any case we rode the train out and walked around the square checking out the lights. Talk about AMAZING. It was soooo beautiful. They outdid themselves this year when putting up the lights. But it was freezing! we bundled up like little eskimos and still froze our noses off. But we had such a fun time I couldnt imagine not going, no matter how miserable the weather got. Its memories like these that warm our hearts. I love love love my family.

What a blast we had!